Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! It’s the season of holiday cheer! Christmas light are shimmering, carolers are singing, but I got to ask myself why am I already in burnout mode ready for the holiday season to be done? Ahh!
Let’s take a look at the hidden triggers of the holiday season and some strategies so you can still put on a smile for those Santa photos.
Schedule Changes
For our toddlers, their routine is one of the most important things to their well-being. It helps create predictability and with predictability they can anticipate what to expect, as well as prepare for it. This is especially true for our sensitive, slow to warm up, and more rigid children who thrive with a predictable schedule. All this routine goes out the door during the holiday season. There are new places to visit, changes in nap times and bedtimes, and no more school schedule.
Solutions:
Discuss the changes in advance, generally a week or more, and use a calendar as a visual reminder of the changes. For example, point to the date and point to when they will be traveling on the calendar: “In 3 days we will be driving to Grandma’s house.” Even though they may not be speaking in full sentences, receptively they may understand more than it seems like they do.
Create a visual schedule with pictures of the new places that your child goes to during the holiday season (e.g., grandma’s house, Disneyland, the hotel).
Look at pictures and videos of the new location you’ll be staying at. Have family members send a picture of their house, or FaceTime them while they walk through the house.
New Activities
In addition to the schedule changes, there are also many new activities that your toddler will encounter during the holiday season. For some there is: snow sledding, attending Christmas tree lightings, meeting Santa, listening to carolers, and watching holiday parades. From a toddler’s perspective—who is encountering these activities for the first, or second time—it’s like being a guest in a new country. They have to learn the rules and appropriate behaviors for the activity and as a result their brains are processing a lot of new information. It’s a lot harder than being at home in their comfy pajamas watching Mickey’s Clubhouse (my toddler’s favorite pastime).
Solutions:
Try to limit how many activities are happening during the day if your child has challenges with transitions. Check in with them throughout the day to see how they are doing. One subtle sign of being overstimulated is when the child becomes quiet and has a wide-eyed look.
Read books and watch videos of the new activities, such as Sesame Street Holiday Friends book. Each page shows a different holiday activity, like ice skating, carolers singing, and a Christmas party. Throughout this book you can elaborate on what to expect during each activity, like “During caroling it may be a bit loud. If it is we can go take a break somewhere quiet.”
Don't go. Spend some quality time with your toddler doing a preferred activity at a quiet location while everyone else is out.
New People
Your toddler will be meeting many new faces for the first time. Some of them may want hugs, kisses, and snuggles, but all your toddler may want to do is run away. Here are some quick tips below.
Solutions:
Discuss your rules on hugging and kissing to your family members in advance of meeting them. If your child is slow to warm up, or cautious, it may be best to let your child take the lead on what they feel comfortable with. For example, my toddler will not hug family members she hasn’t seen in a while, but will politely say hi. Later on in the day when she feels comfortable, she will eventually hug them.
Create a photo album for your toddler to look at in advance of meeting family members.
Call and do FaceTime with family members to increase familiarity with them.
Sight and Sounds
For sensitive children, or those that have sensory-processing disorders, the sights and sounds of the holiday season, can be overwhelming. There are blinking Christmas lights, crowded shopping malls, and bustling holiday parades. For the sounds, there’s Christmas music on repeat, multiple conversations going on at the dinner table, as well as football games on in the background. Did you know that the auditory system is closely linked to our fight/flight system response? That is why we tend to see meltdowns in loud and busy locations where your toddler may have difficulty processing numerous sources of sounds.
Solutions:
Take frequent breaks to areas that have neutral backgrounds with limited decorations and movement. In addition, make sure the area is quiet. Be mindful of background noise such as the humming of the street light, or background construction.
I hope these tips help you and your toddler have a happy and holly holiday season! Please sign up to my email list to stay-up-date on future trainings and workshops.
References:
Parenting with Peace Digital Course, Steady Parents, www.steadyparents.com
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